Thank you for the music

Bloody cancer has taken another creative being. Rest in Peace Philip Chevron, your music will live on. Whether on the main stage at Glastonbury, or crammed onstage in a tiny pub in Sydney, The Pogues were a brilliant live band in their heyday.

Meanwhile in Australia, notorious Melbourne underworld figure, ‘hitman’ and teller of tall tales Chopper Read has also succumbed to the big C. Thanks for the laughs Chop Chop, we will miss your storytelling but maybe not your murdering ways.


I think people make their own faces as they grow

I’m feeling like a cross between Noddy and Big Ears, which is appropriate because Enid Blyton shares a birthday with Hulk Hogan today. I must be jolly old-fashioned.
A clown needn’t be the same out of the ring as he has to be when he’s in it. If you look at photographs of clowns when they’re just being ordinary men, they’ve got quite sad faces.” Enid Blyton, Five Go Off in a Caravan


That Old Black Magic

My Dad used to scare me to sleep with this song when I was a kid. Happy birthday Jack Pollard, I miss you every day.


Lush

Lush – Urban Dictionary definition:
If presented with an opportunity to drink shamelessly and in large quantities, and if in the mood for a drunken good time, a lush generally won’t pass it up.

On Ernest Hemingway’s birthday it occurs to me that a lot of the writers I like were very fond of a drink or 400. Jack Kerouac, Dylan Thomas, Charles Bukowski, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Hunter S. Thompson, Tennessee Williams and Dorothy Parker all battled the grip of the grape. Maybe alcohol’s power to lessen inhibitions opens the door to the imagination for creative types. Many writers and artists have a long history of substance and alcohol abuse.
I drank to drown my sorrows, but the damned things learned how to swim,” said Frida Kahlo.


Fear and Loathing

“Music has always been a matter of energy to me, a question of fuel. Sentimental people call it inspiration, but what they really mean is fuel. I have always needed fuel. I am a serious consumer. On some nights I still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio.” Hunter S Thompson


50 Shades of Erogenous

I didn’t want to but I finally read 50 Shades of Grey and I realize what the fuss is about. Despite the hideous beginning and the clunky set up, this book was written for everywoman. For every woman who has ever had a farting disappointing husband who won’t do housework, for every girl who has ever had a crush on a hunk and been taken back to his place only to meet his village idiot stoned flatmates, then tripped over his PlayStation on the way to his bed. For every woman who has left a pub with a guy and gone to his flat to find week old baked beans on the kitchen counter and the smell of unwashed bedding in his room. For all of us who’ve been underwhelmed by sexual encounters and the mundane chores of our lives rearing children and cleaning out the garage. 50 Shades is sex set in Vogue Living, where all the chores are done and the personal trainer is paid for. It’s pure fantasy without the dirty period stained undies and the car breaking down and your best friend who won’t tell you your thighs are too fat so you both eat chips for dinner every night. The fantasy is why women have bought it in droves, it’s sex with the lifestyle we’ve been sold by Ikea advertising that can be ours, but will never be ours because we can’t afford it; we don’t have the staff or the time or the money for the helicopter or the leather furniture. Christian Grey is an arsehole, but he’s a gentlemanly arsehole. And a lot of women would rather that than some fumbling boy who doesn’t know what he’s doing, who smells of his mechanic’s workshop and too many Chiko rolls to feed his hangover. Some of us want class, the lord of the manor to come down and sweep us off our dainty feet and take us away from the humdrum, the mundane existence we live when all we can afford is takeaway once a fortnight and a dodgy DVD from the shop down the road so we can pay for our holiday in Bali once a year.


Great Expectations

When I was a tortured angst-ridden teenager (a few weeks ago) I had a crush on a boy and it didn’t work out. Then I read Great Expectations and I wanted to be Miss Havisham, dressed in cobwebs and gothic wedding finery. 30 years later here I am, a single mother style icon, dressed in tattered clothes, lying alone in my bed reading Charles Dickens.

“The broken heart. You think you will die, but you just keep living, day after day after terrible day,” said Miss Havisham.

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before–more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”

Thank you Mr Dickens, we are never alone when we are in the middle of a great book.


Hooray for Dollywood

Today is Dolly Parton’s birthday. I have loved her since I could sing. I love her wardrobe, her lyrics, her accent, her hair and her au naturale feminine charm. One day I will go to her theme park Dollywood in Tennessee. Right after I visit Elvis in Memphis.


The Prophet – Single Mother translation

In his epic poem, The Prophet, Khalil Gibran summed up beautifully what is special in this life.

Children.

“a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, “speak to us of children,” and he said:

Your children are not your children.

You’ve just leased them until they are 18 on a ridiculously expensive payment plan

They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

Well, actually Khalil I created them in my body, as a man you may not get the enormity of that concept. And as I recall they ripped right through me.

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

Especially when they are online chatting with their friends

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

Except when they haven’t done any homework or housework or don’t text you when they said they would, then you can give them a few choice thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

They surely do, especially the 14 year old girls

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

Even when their bodies are dressed like white trash bimbo pole dancers

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

Except when they are selling their souls to Facebook and tumblr and you are paying for the internet access. Then you can get your friends to spy on their blogs.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

Note to Lou: please don’t dress like your 15 year old daughter, you will look like mutton dressed as mutton. And teenage daughter will not borrow my ruched bright 1980s clothing.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

There is nothing you can do about breeding with someone who is located very far down the food chain, so don’t waste time regretting it.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and he bends you with his might that his arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

So your scrubbing, washing and bending over backwards will go unnoticed by everyone except your girlfriends who understand the toil and the sacrifices of single motherhood.

For even as he loves the arrow that flies,

So I teach my children that love flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana

so he loves also the bow that is stable.

All mothers must be stable according to Khalil. No drunken party animals need apply. That means I’m out of a job then.


I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons….

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”  John Lennon