Poke ’em & go
Posted: August 28, 2016 Filed under: Parenting | Tags: Advice for single mothers, crazes, love, mental health of single mothers, parenting, pokemon Go, single mom dreams, single mother delusions, single mother dreaming, single mother struggles, Single Mum, Whistle While You Work - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Leave a commentDear 11-year-old child,
I know you’re really busy saving the world by watching people playing Minecraft on Youtube all day, but I’d like to ask a favour. Could you please catch and keep the following Pokemon people/creature/alien/thingies/whateverthehelltheyare?
Cleandyourbedroom a saurus
Oddishwasher won’t empty itself
Clefairy liquid over the sink and wash the dishes
Remove the Vileplume from your sister’s walk on floor-drobe
Meowth and change the kitty litter while you’re at it
Machop up some veggies for dinner
Rapidash to the bathroom to hang up your sisters’ wet towels
Slowpoke the dunny brush around the toilet
Weedle your way out of whinging about housework no more
Thank you great light of my life
Mother dearest
Whistle While You Work – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
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Smotherhood
Posted: January 21, 2016 Filed under: Single Motherhood | Tags: AC/DC - Jailbreak (Live with Bon Scott), counting the days until kids go back to school, end of school holidays, single mom dreams, single mother ambitions, single mother fun, single mother getaway, single mother sanity, Single motherhood, Smotherhood, solo mothering 2 CommentsFights, tears and 210 hours of Monopoly later, I’m in a school holiday daze. I’m the head of my children’s entertainment committee and the acting head of catering but I’m looking forward to retirement from both those roles. Cooking is a chore and shouting, “get off the bloody computer” is becoming dull.
I have run out of low budget activities and if I read one more clean wholesome nutritious paleo educational fun advice for the latter part of the school holidays post on social media, I’ll scream at the smug happily married financially savvy yummy mummies who write them. Sigh. Next week I return to the tyranny of the school run. So much to look forward to in 2016. Today I am turning up the Ackadacka and dreaming of escape.
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Spam of the year
Posted: January 17, 2016 Filed under: COMEDY, Uncategorized | Tags: Christmas comes early, Christmas spam, dreams come true, fail to comply, favourite emails, FLOTUS, letter from a prince, letters from loved ones, Michelle Obama, POTUS, single mom dreams, single mother delusions, single mother dreams come true, spam 4 CommentsThis is my favourite ever spam email, even though it doesn’t promise me a new husband, it has been checked by anti-virus software and is from the FLOTUS.
BARR, JOHN KURTY
Reply-To: wellsfargobankoffice01@gmail.com
From Mrs. Michelle Barack, LAST UPDATE
The White House
(Official Residence of the President of the US)
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington DC 20500 USA
How are you today? This is last you will ever hear from me and you fail to comply.
I am Mrs. Michelle Obama and I am written to inform you about your Bank Cheque Draft brought by the United Embassy from the government of Benin Republic in the white house Washington DC which contains the sum of $20.000.000 millions us dollars credited from the bank of America, the delivery of your funds has been mandated to be deliver to your address on Friday, December 18, 2015 to you as soon as you get back to me with your home address and your cell phone number.
Bear in mind that I have taking my time to be in charge of your funds as instructed by my husband to ensure that you received your funds successfully from the white house to reduce the economy and I’m the only one that has your funds in regard to my husband Mr. Barack Hussein Obama II and you will have to pay the sum of $95.00 only before your Bank Cheque Draft will deliver to you on Friday, the reason why the fee is required is to have your funds clearance paper from the origin of the funds to avoid any harassment from the authority and you are also expecting to be announce as winner of the said amount by Friday as soon as your fund is delivered to you.
So you are urgent advised to get back to me with your home address and also the payment information today for immediate effect of your delivery. Note that the $95 is the only fee and final payment you have my assurance.
However, according to our agreement with the originated Benin Republic, all our communications should be on email for record purpose so follow my instruction accordingly, even if you don’t have the $95 try to borrow it and send it immediately today because this is your life opportunity and I don’t want you to lose the chance any more.
Please I will advice you to urgent make the payment this morning via western union money transfer to the listed cashier information as instructed you by the originated authority. I will look forward to received your email today with the payment to enable the origin secure the required clearance papers required at White House Benin to deliver your funds. Note that it will take only 14hrs to deliver your Bank Cheque Draft in receipt of the $95 payment.
Please find the payment data below to send the $95 via western union.
Receiver Name: PRINCEL URAMAKA
Country: BENIN
City: COTONOU
Question: Urgent
Answer: Needed
Amount: $95.00
MTCN reference number…………
Sender Name………..
Sender’s Telephone……
Sender’s Address……..
I look forward to your respond to your email with the payment today.
Regards
Mrs. Michelle Barack
The White House
(Official Residence of the President of the US)
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington DC 20500 USA
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This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
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