Thank you for the music

Posted: October 10, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: ART, AUSTRALIA, SONGS, WRITERS | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bloody cancer has taken another creative being. Rest in Peace Philip Chevron, your music will live on. Whether on the main stage at Glastonbury, or crammed onstage in a tiny pub in Sydney, The Pogues were a brilliant live band in their heyday.

Meanwhile in Australia, notorious Melbourne underworld figure, ‘hitman’ and teller of tall tales Chopper Read has also succumbed to the big C. Thanks for the laughs Chop Chop, we will miss your storytelling but maybe not your murdering ways.

Smells like a one off disco hit

Posted: September 25, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: ART, SONGS, Theme Songs | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I have tragic taste in music, if a song smells like a bad 70s or 80s hit I will be up on the dance floor from the opening bars. And I don’t mind a ballad that I can murder all alone in the car late at night singing along to a gut-wrenching radio station playing hits for the lovelorn either. In honour of One Hit Wonder Day I present you with my favourites (in no particular order):

The Knack – My Sharona
I’m Too Sexy – Right Said Fred
Eye Of The Tiger – Survivor
Don’t Worry Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin
99 Luftballons – Nena (the German version)
You Get What You Give – The New Radicals
Only For Sheep – The Bureau
Black Betty – Ram Jam
Feelings – Morris Albert
All By Myself – Eric Carmen
Farewell Aunty Jack – Graeme Bond
Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice – thank you for bringing ‘Running Man’ to the masses
Video Killed The Radio Star – The Buggles
Play That Funky Music – Wild Cherry
Benny Hill – Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)
It’s Raining Men – The Weather Girls
Because I Got High – Afroman
Teenage Dirtbag – Wheatus
Rose Garden – Lynn Anderson
Young Hearts Run Free – Candi Staton
Baby Got Back – Sir Mix A Lot
They Wont Let My Girlfriend Talk To Me – Jimmy and The Boys
Lay Your Love On Me – Racey

Tears dry on their own

Posted: September 14, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: ART, Birthdays, SONGS | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Amy Winehouse would have been 30 today.

Seriously

Posted: September 5, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: ART, COMEDY, Parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

W.C. Fields was a wise man. He said that one should never work with children or animals. Next week I’m performing two comedy shows with my youngest daughter who is 8 years old, with the energy of a mad monkey. The rehearsal process was going so, ahem, well, that now my 11 year old daughter has stepped in to help us. You can see our show on Saturday September 14 2013 at Tap Gallery theatre (upstairs) in Darlinghurst (at 2pm and 4pm). Two years ago, I performed with my youngest at Woodford Folk Festival when she was only six, and she stole the show. At one point she threw stuff at the audience, she was hilarious. I must be a sucker for punishment, because when she suggested we do more shows together I said yes. I’ve written, rehearsed and am about to perform the show with someone who is bonkers, and not on Ritalin. And her big sister has turned into the stage control freak, thank God. Anyone got a wild pig we can borrow for our show?

Never work with children, they’re animals

Posted: August 24, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: ART, COMEDY | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

On September 14 I’m performing two shows with my youngest daughter, who is hyperactive, smart and very cheeky. The rehearsal process has been ‘interesting,’ with Wednesday adding in bits of script that don’t make sense or are hilarious to her but not to me. I’m thinking our show will be a shambles or very funny (or both). Our show is called Parental Guidance and we’re on at Tap Gallery (upstairs theatre) in Darlinghurst. You can buy tickets at http://2013.sydneyfringe.com/event/comedy/parental-guidance

And an interview I did for the Sydney Fringe Festival blog

http://blog.sydneyfringe.com/parental-guidance-breaking-the-first-rule-of-showbiz/

Funny Show

Wednesday and I

I’m not waiting for my 15 minutes

Posted: August 6, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: ART, Birthdays | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Today is the birth day of Andy Warhol. The man who once said, “In the future, everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes.” In memory of this great art charlatan, I’ve decided I’m not going to wait for my 15 minutes of fame. I’m going to go out and get it. So far I’ve been on TV starring in two episodes of Sale Of The Century (around 40 minutes TV time), one episode of Hot Seat (about 10 minutes TV time), a tiny part in All Saints (2 minutes TV time), two episodes of Mums The Word, I was murdered on Murder Call (10 minutes) and I’ve done ads. My dad also put me on the cover of his dog book when I was nine (I’m not sure how many copies were printed so it’s hard to calculate my fame minutes in print). By my reckoning, my fame clock is up around the 85 minute mark. I think I’ll be getting my own TV show next.

Lush

Posted: July 21, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: ART, WRITERS | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lush – Urban Dictionary definition:
If presented with an opportunity to drink shamelessly and in large quantities, and if in the mood for a drunken good time, a lush generally won’t pass it up.

On Ernest Hemingway’s birthday it occurs to me that a lot of the writers I like were very fond of a drink or 400. Jack Kerouac, Dylan Thomas, Charles Bukowski, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Hunter S. Thompson, Tennessee Williams and Dorothy Parker all battled the grip of the grape. Maybe alcohol’s power to lessen inhibitions opens the door to the imagination for creative types. Many writers and artists have a long history of substance and alcohol abuse.
“I drank to drown my sorrows, but the damned things learned how to swim,” said Frida Kahlo.

Feliz Cumpleaños

Posted: July 6, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: ART, Birthdays | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

The brilliant Mexican painter Frida Kahlo was born today. Despite living in constant pain, Frida was a prolific artist and political activist.

“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.”

Not suitable for children

Posted: June 7, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: ART, COMEDY, Self improvement | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’m performing a show for the 2013 Sydney Fringe Festival on 19, 20 and 21 September called Lou Pollard is Not Suitable For Children. It’s laugh out loud comedy with attitude. Breeders and non breeders welcome.

According to Freud it’s the role of the mother to mess with the child’s psyche and Lou Pollard has been doing her share, from shoplifting to stealing her children’s tooth fairy money. Sensational stand up with a show stopping song finale.

Lou Pollard – Comedy Show September 2013

Don’t Dream It, Be It

Posted: April 19, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: ART, Birthdays, LOVE, SONGS, Theme Songs | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

When I was 15 I used to sneak out late at night with my girlfriends to watch the midnight screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. We dressed up in tutus and high heels, we sang, we sweated, we laughed and we danced. And my mother never did find out. Until now. Years later I was working in London and the phone rang and I instantly recognised the voice on the other end of the phone. It was Tim Curry. I couldn’t speak so I passed the phone to a colleague who laughed when she realised who I should have been talking to. Thank you Mr Curry for the joy you brought to my teenage years. Rose tint my world, keep me safe from the trouble and pain.

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →