Poor dead Louie

Apparently the advertising agency responsible for Mortein fly spray are going to can this ad. No! I grew up with Louie. The famous author Bryce Courtenay thought up Louie when he worked in advertising. From one Louie to another I hope that Louie the fly lives to buzz around another day. I don’t think I will ever be able to buy Mortein again. Poor dead Louie, a victim of marketing people with no taste.


Apparently this is not true, the latest news is that Louie won’t be axed. Cynical people would say it was a marketing exercise….



I was in the Hot Seat

I won $20,000 for answering a few questions on Millionaire Hot Seat. Watching it again I notice I said, “Lock it in Eddie,” about a thousand times because I was so worried about running out of time and leaving the show with an empty wallet.

Television quiz shows are my not so secret guilty pleasure. My mum won a lot of prizes in the late 50s on an early TV quiz show, so it’s in my blood. I was on the TV show Sale of the Century back in 1997. Six months pregnant with my first child I started dreaming up get rich quick schemes. I won a place on Sale and flew to Melbourne on a 6am flight. Being heavily pregnant I spent my time in the make up chair and the TV studio yawning. The host’s glamorous sidekick was almost as pregnant as me and I could tell the producers weren’t happy with another fat woman on set.

Once the cameras rolled pregnancy brain took over, I couldn’t even answer a simple question about the Australian cricket team. The host with spray-on hair asked,

“What is the large vessel starting with K which beer is stored in?”

“Keg.” It was the one question I answered correctly so I got to pick a famous face and I won $5000 dollars on the prize board. Then I was booted off the show with a silver stickpin, later sold to a pawnshop for $5. The second most exciting thing to happen that year. Of course the birth of my first child was numero uno.

My Dad called when the Sale episode went to air.

“What were you thinking? Everyone knows about Chappell’s underarm bowling!” I wasn’t thinking, I’d inhaled too much hairspray on set.

“Thanks Dad, I’ll try harder next time.”

“I wanted some of the prizes, can’t believe you couldn’t win the steak knives. Will they have you back on for the jackpot?”he  said.

Ah, sadly no. After that my new vocation of raising three children on my own took off, so I thought my quiz show career was over. But late one night when the kids were in bed I went online and entered Hot Seat. So I auditioned, got through, flew to Melbourne, met Eddie Maguire, had fun and won some cash. Do it, and hopefully you’ll win big.


Hot Seat

Lock it in

September 24 birthdays

Two brilliant men were born today – Jim Henson and F. Scott Fitzgerald . The Muppets were a huge part of my childhood. I wanted to be Miss Piggy. I still do.

F. Scott Fitzgerald died young, leaving fine books for the world to enjoy. My favourite is The Great Gatsby, set in the golden days of the Jazz Age.

Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter — tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther…. And one fine morning —
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.


Troy Davis

I don’t believe that anyone was served with the execution of Troy Davis this week, Mark MacPhail’s family do not get him back. Studies show that the death penalty is not a deterrent to violent criminals and minority groups are disproportionately represented on Death Row. I wish you could help us Dr King.


September 19 birthdays

Today is my birthday, so while I’m waiting for my cards, chocolate, flowers and new car from Johnny Depp and the Queen, I will tell you about other famous people who share my day.

This morning I ate a kilo of chocolate in honour of Mama Cass and George Cadbury. But I gave up ham, because it killed poor Mama. Apparently this is an urban myth, but I wish Mama Cass had shared her chocolate with Twiggy.

Today also happens to be International Talk Like A Pirate day. Which fills my heart with gladness. What do you get when you cross a pirate with a robot?


Aye I’ll be thar looking for a pirate for meself, just been keelhauled and be plunderin. I forgot to cast me message in bottle back…arrrrrrrr


The Sound of Silence

I have written a story called Sorrow Comes Unsent For, which is included in an anthology called The Sound of Silence – Journeys Through Miscarriage. When I was pregnant I looked forward and saw the new life that was coming. Then I miscarried and that life was gone, but there was no funeral or mourning period observed. I was angry at my body for failing me, sad when my due date arrived and I had nothing to show for it. I wanted to share the story of one of my miscarriages so that other women who have experienced the trauma realise they are not alone.

All the authors have poured their hearts out in the book, the stories are beautiful and moving. If you know someone who has lost a child through miscarriage this book may be a nice gift to show that you are thinking of them.

The Sound of Silence book is published on October 1.


Today is my sister’s birthday. We are not related by blood, she is my soul sister, one of the gals who keeps me sane when life seems too much to bear. She is a very private person, very discreet, so I can tell her all my secrets. We have been friends for 30 years, so I know when we are 93 and have blue hair and no teeth, we will still be giggling at our own shortcomings. Love may be blind, but friendship is clairvoyant. Happy birthday mate.


There are so many words that can be said about today, but as I watch the footage from the memorial in New York I weep as I look at the faces of the 9 year olds who will never know their fathers.

These boots aren’t made for walking

I went out dancing with a bunch of wild gay men. It was a night of jazz hands, time steps, kick ball change, Solid Gold poses and lots of throwing each other in the air (almost). I got home at five in the morning with a…throbbing pain in my knee. Maybe I’m too old to dance all night in high heels. But I thought, ‘I’ll get acupuncture, that’ll fix it.’

I love my acupuncturist. He has seen me through many traumas. He can tell when my monkey mind needs to be quiet. I turn up stressed and carrying on, lie down on the table and he sticks a needle right into the cranky part of my forehead. Some people call it the third eye. Acupuncture is great for emotional dramas too. Ladies, the best way to get over a needle-phobic man is to have acupuncture. So I’ve started going every week. But at my last appointment Mr Acupuncture looked at my Mexican cowboy boots and shook his head. He said my boots are hurting my feet and my spine. So apparently my boots aren’t made for walking…

Freddie Mercury

Today would have been Freddie Mercury’s 65th birthday. What a showman.