A moment so rare
Posted: October 28, 2014 Filed under: LOVE | Tags: friendship, friendship is one of the great joys of life, fun friends, Gilbert O'Sullivan - Clair (1972), joy, karaoke partner in vocal crimes, life changing friendships, love, philanthropists, proud single mothers, single mother sanity, single mothers with attitude Leave a commentThree short years ago we were dressing up and celebrating your 40th birthday. You were the Queen of the ball that night and now you’ve already left us. And the only way I can contact you is to turn on Smooth FM and wait until a really corny tune comes on and sing my heart out like we used to do together when we were in your car or trying to outdo each other at karaoke. We miss you so, precious sunshine, funny witty friend, devoted mother. I see you when the sun lights up the evening sky across the sea and your songs come on the radio. Shine on beautiful friend, thank you for inspiring me to do good work in the world
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Totes awks single mother moments
Posted: June 13, 2014 Filed under: Raising Hell, Single Motherhood | Tags: Buck Owens & His Buckaroos - Act Naturally [Live] - 1966, proud single mothers, shining single mothers, single mother ethical dilemmas, single mother role models, single mothers with attitude, Too much information Leave a commentMy eight year old’s teacher asked her where she would like to go on a class excursion. My daughter replied, “Dan Murphy’s*, that’s where Mummy would like to go.”
I was planning my 16 year old’s birthday party. She said, “Mum I don’t want any drugs at my party.” She could tell I was very disappointed, I didn’t know how to tell my friends they can’t come to her party.
I went to pick up my youngest child from a craft workshop. The teacher said, “We worked with coloured paper this afternoon and your daughter coloured in a piece of white paper with a bright green texta, cut it up into little pieces, put it in a bowl, then rolled the pieces into a long tube of white paper and pretended to smoke it. Where did she learn to do that?”
Later that night she said to me, “What’s a ghetto Mama?” Before I had a chance to answer she said, “Is a ghetto somewhere mamas go when dads have hurt their babies?”
*A well known bottle shop/off license chain in Australia
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Single Mother lexicon
Posted: April 13, 2014 Filed under: Single Motherhood | Tags: Guns N' Roses - Welcome To The Jungle, Homage to single mothers, single mamas, single mother delusions, single mother dictionary, single mother euphemisms, single mother lexicon, Single mother translation, Single motherhood, Single mothers, single mothers with attitude, single mummas, solo mothering 2 CommentsA is for Attitude. You’ll develop it after years of single motherhood
B is for Breeder’s regret, as in I picked him to be the father of kids? What was I thinking? Breed with a man not a boy
B is also for Bribery, a helpful device in the single mother tool kit
C is for Can I share custody with this man in five years time?
D is for Don’t know how you do it, translation: I don’t want your life, it looks too hard
E is for End of summer, a day celebrated by single mothers whenever children go back to school after months of holidays
F is for Frustration, i.e. speaking to any government department about collecting money for your kids from your children’s father
G is for Glamorous, what single mothers become when their offspring visit their father
H is for Halloween, lots of free lollies for your deprived children
I is for I’m a single mother this week, what coupled up ladies say when their partner is away for more than two days
J is for “Just wait ’til you become a mother.” Frequently said by single mums to their kids
K is for Know It All Children AKA other people’s children
L is for Long ago and far away I used to be young, free and sassy
M is for Mothering Monday, the second Monday in May. Easily the best day to receive bargain flowers, soap and sympathy. Boxes of sweet fancies go cheap on this day.
N is for No money until pay day
O is for Oh My God, tinned spaghetti again?
P is for Perfect families, fictitious people who make children of single mothers envious
Q is for Queen of budgeting
R is for Red Cordial, what you give your kids when they’re going to meet your ex’s new girlfriend for the first time
S is for Sanity, what you lose when you become a single mother
S is also for Schooligan
The little rat in your kid’s class with parents who insist their child is a saint
T is for Teens, the beasts your kids turn into before they become lovely adults who thank you for your sacrifices
U is for Unbelievable, the amount politicians think you can live on
V is for Vinnies, the clothing boutique of choice for most single mothers
W is for Wild side, staying up past 10pm on a school night
W is also for Would, as in I would talk to my ex but I don’t speak moron
X is for Exhausted, permanently
Y is for Y did I choose to live like this?
Z is for Zone Out: what single mums do when married breeders talk about their cleaner
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I’ve become that mother
Posted: March 28, 2014 Filed under: Parenting, Single Motherhood | Tags: calm single mothering, competition sports watched by competitive parents, Rage Against The Machine - Killing In The Name, sideline coaching when I don't know all the rules, single mother madness, single mother struggles, single mothers with attitude, sport rage, sport rage mothers, sporty kids with mad mothers Leave a commentMy middle daughter has just started playing basketball, I’ve watched two games. She has never played a team sport before, and I have already turned into Sport Rage Single Mother. During the first game, I sat on my own and started muttering, “Bloody ref, what would she know? She is ripping off our team,” as I watched the other team get away with pushing and shoving, and my daughter’s team racking up the fouls. As I became more vocal my girl sat obediently on the bench, sneaking looks at me, wondering when I would stop embarrassing her. For the second game I decided to sit with the rational parents, hoping they’d be a good influence on me. Then my daughter was elbowed and fell over. Sport Rage Single Mother from Hell emerged. “Come on, that’s not on!” I yelled and my voice echoed around the gym. I slapped the bench and sat down as the calm parents from the other team pursed their lips and stared at me. My daughter told me she was fine, then the opposing team of giant almost-women proceeded to annihilate my girl and her mates. I slumped in my seat and said to any of the mothers who would listen, “Our girls need a bit more testosterone, they can have mine.” Game three is on today, anyone know where I put my chill pills?
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Girl Power
Posted: March 8, 2014 Filed under: FEMINISM | Tags: childless by choice, childless not by choice, Destroy The Joint, Emmeline Pankhurst, equality, feminism, feminist revolution, Feminist role models, Glynis Johns, happy single mothering, I am woman hear me roar, International Women's Day 2014, mental health of single mothers, single mother gratitude, single mother sanity savers, single mothers with attitude, Sister Suffragette - Mary Poppins, Sisterhood, thank you ladies 2 CommentsOn International Women’s Day I’m thinking that I’d love to be Emmeline Pankhurst in pearls fighting for equality for all women but I’m a little bit busy hanging out the washing and bringing home the bacon to feed three hungry mouths. So I’d like to say thank you to the ladies who are childless for maintaining the revolution so this mother of three daughters can raise them knowing that the sisterhood is striving to make our world fair. Whether you chose not to be a breeder, or you had the choice taken from you by fate or circumstance, I’m grateful for the work you’re doing. I believe childless women are desperately needed to fight for equality by us sleep deprived mothers who’ve temporarily lost our brain power because we’re helping finish homework. Thank you for organising the petitions, running the rallies, writing the articles, alerting me to them on Twitter and for keeping watch while this mother bakes. Sisters I will join you at the barricades as soon as I can find a cheap babysitter.
“Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid…”
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Sail Away With Me To Another World
Posted: March 5, 2014 Filed under: LOVE, SONGS | Tags: beautiful friends make life worth living, female role models for growing girls, friendship, glamorous single motherhood, Karaoke Lovers Anonymous, karaoke partner in vocal crimes, KENNY ROGERS & DOLLY PARTON - ISLANDS IN THE STREAM, love only, single mother allies, single mothers with attitude, Sonnet 30, the only ones for me are the mad ones, William Shakespeare, William Shakespeare quotes Leave a commentI woke up this morning thinking of my gorgeous, generous friend and the times she and I would sing karaoke. We’d work our way through rock ballads, fabulous country songs, Patsy, Tammy, then Whitney and of course Dolly Parton. My funny friend also introduced me to the delights of Smooth FM and their back catalogue of hideous one hit wonders. A couple of years ago we gatecrashed an 18th birthday party at a pub and then it turned out C knew the family! She was there for me when I became a single mother and I didn’t know how I would cope. She showed me that single motherhood can be fun. Her funeral is today and I don’t think it’s right that two little girls don’t have their fabulous, funny mum any more. At 42 years old my beautiful friend had so much more to give, more books to write, many more songs to sing. Fly free my darling, your spirit soaring with the sun and the twinkling stars, thank you for your friendship. We will walk with your girls through this life. Love you, love always, always love
When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time’s waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unus’d to flow,
For precious friends hid in death’s dateless night,
And weep afresh love’s long since cancell’d woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanish’d sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o’er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restor’d and sorrows end.
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Happy Mother’s Day – A prayer for all the mothers
Posted: May 8, 2011 Filed under: Parenting | Tags: champion mothers, Child Support Agency, child support agency failings, dead beat dads, FREUD, happy single mothering, Homage to single mothers, maintenance payments, mental health of single mothers, MOTHER'S DAY, mothering when exhausted, PRAYER, real men pay child support, SANITY, single mother sanity, single mothering, single mothers with attitude, solo mothers Leave a commentAccording to Freud it’s the role of the mother to mess with the child’s psyche and I’ve been doing my share. So today I have a prayer that mothers can keep our sanity and sense of humour while parenting.
Today I got homemade craft for Mother’s Day and cards that read I love yu, you’re the bestest moummy in the hole world. Mother’s Day is well timed. Usually by May most mothers I know have had enough of child rearing thus Mother’s Day is planned so we don’t give up mothering and take the little blighters back to the pet shop.
May your day be filled with kisses.
May you go to the toilet in peace
May your day be a tantrum-free zone
And may Santa, The Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy take away the whinge-gene your children inherited from their father.
A PRAYER FOR SINGLE MOTHERS
May the dead beat dad finally give you some cash.
May your ex’s white trash girlfriend treat your kids well.
And may the Child Support Agency catch up with those who are avoiding their maintenance payments.
AMEN
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Raising Amazonia
Posted: April 19, 2011 Filed under: Parenting, Raising Hell, Single Motherhood | Tags: Absolutely Fabulous, Amazonia, Amazons, Edina, happy single mothering, parenting, Saffy, single mother bliss, single mother sanity, single mothering, single mothers with attitude, solo mothering Leave a commentThe Amazons are a nation of all-female warriors in Classical antiquity and Greek mythology. Even though I have no formal training, I am raising three amazons:
Miss Maturity 14 – my shrink said there’s a touch of the Saffy and Edina (Absolutely Fabulous) relationship about us.
Miss Marshmallow 9 – she is sweet, soft and squishy.
And Miss Mental 5 – she is zany and hilarious, she has my crazy personality trapped in her father’s body.
loupollard 