Our Big Kitchen
Posted: January 20, 2012 Filed under: AUSTRALIA, FOOD, LOVE, Self improvement, Thought For the Day | Tags: 7.30 report, ABC TV, Our Big Kitchen, Rabbi Dovid and Laya Slavin Leave a commentI love this place, they do such great community work
Our Big Kitchen on the 7.30 report ABC TV
Husbandable
Posted: January 18, 2012 Filed under: LOVE, MARRIAGE, Single, Thought For the Day | Tags: break ups, Bunnings, husbandable, love and marriage, The Motels, Total Control Leave a commentHUSBANDABLE – capable of being economically used or fit for cultivation
– Shorter Oxford Dictionary
This year I can’t wait to find the next man I’m going to break up with. Hopefully he won’t call me a ball busting bitch in Bunnings on a Saturday afternoon like the last one did as we stood in the 468 pieces of metal crap aisle, with every DIY lover watching our show. And hopefully he’ll have all his own teeth and a dead mother. Or at least a blind, deaf, mute mother who lives in Uzbekhistan. I live in hope…
December 18 birthdays
Posted: December 18, 2011 Filed under: Birthdays, LOVE | Tags: BRAD PITT, CHRISTINA AGUILERA, December 18 birthdays, KEITH RICHARDS, school holidays 2 CommentsKeith Richards and Christina Aguilera were born today. And so was my dream husband Brad Pitt. Keith is too haggard from smack, and Christina too shrill, so it’s Brad for me.
Today also marks the start of long summer school holidays. To stave off boredom while watching my children trash the house, I imagine I am a lithe sprite running down a Caribbean beach chased by Brad Pitt. In the midst of my reverie, my youngest hits me in the face with a nude Ken doll. After I threaten to send Ken and his girlfriends to the local op shop she runs away to her giggling sister. Back on the couch it is no longer a daydream, it has become my reality. Brad Pitt is still chasing me, but Jen is chasing him as Angelina aims a shotgun at all of us. Brad wants me bad. He’s only human…
Wish list for Santa
Posted: November 1, 2011 Filed under: FOOD, LOVE, Self improvement, SONGS, Theme Songs | Tags: Christmas list, Eartha Kitt, Letter to Santa, Lindt chocolate, Mensa, Santa, Santa Baby, wish list Leave a commentI know it’s early but here is my most wanted present list:
1. Hydraulic crane bra to thrust boobies up and out. I want to be able to rest my chin on them when I’m tired.
2. New brain or Mensa member’s if secondhand.
3. Long, white porn star fingernails and a slave for chores so I won’t break nails.
4. Children who feed, clothe and bathe themselves, and walk to school safely.
5. New pelvic floor.
6. Home that cleans itself (with no mortgage)
7. Lifetime supply of Lindt chocolate balls
8. Annual foreign holidays with swarthy, sexy stranger
I must send a copy of my list to Santa.
The Sound of Silence Book
Posted: October 7, 2011 Filed under: AUSTRALIA, LOVE, WRITERS | Tags: Book launch Melbourne, grief, Irma Gold Editor, Lou Pollard writer, miscarriage, Mostly for Mothers Publishing, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Australia, Pregnancy Loss, The Sound of Silence Book Launch Canberra, Wombat Books Leave a commentMiscarriage is not spoken about, parents often suffer in silence. Until I suffered two miscarriages I had no idea how many women I knew had endured the sadness of losing a baby as well. I wrote a story for this book which is available to buy now. If you have suffered or love someone who has suffered pregnancy loss this book may provide comfort.
Buy online at http://www.mostlyformothers.com/miscarriage.html or at your favourite bookstore.
The Sound of Silence
Sisters
Posted: September 12, 2011 Filed under: LOVE, Thought For the Day | Tags: Allison Krauss, friendship, Sisterhood, sisters Leave a commentToday is my sister’s birthday. We are not related by blood, she is my soul sister, one of the gals who keeps me sane when life seems too much to bear. She is a very private person, very discreet, so I can tell her all my secrets. We have been friends for 30 years, so I know when we are 93 and have blue hair and no teeth, we will still be giggling at our own shortcomings. Love may be blind, but friendship is clairvoyant. Happy birthday mate.
Spring has sprung something stupid
Posted: September 1, 2011 Filed under: LOVE, Self improvement, SONGS | Tags: 1 September, Christmas, gardenias, mating season, Nancy Sinatra, Something Stupid, Spring Leave a commentToday is the first day of spring down under. My garden is yawning and waking up. The gardenias will be in bloom soon, filling my house with their divine aroma. Spring is the time to breed like rabbits, spring clean and turn over a new leaf. The days will get longer and warmer and mating season begins. But we must hurry, there are only 115 shoplifting days until Christmas.


