Our Big Kitchen

I love this place, they do such great community work

Our Big Kitchen on the 7.30 report ABC TV


Husbandable

HUSBANDABLE – capable of being economically used or fit for cultivation

– Shorter Oxford Dictionary

This year I can’t wait to find the next man I’m going to break up with. Hopefully he won’t call me a ball busting bitch  in Bunnings on a Saturday afternoon like the last one did as we stood in the 468 pieces of metal crap aisle, with every DIY lover watching our show. And hopefully he’ll have all his own teeth and a dead mother. Or at least a blind, deaf, mute mother who lives in Uzbekhistan. I live in hope…


December 18 birthdays

Keith Richards and Christina Aguilera were born today. And so was my dream husband Brad Pitt. Keith is too haggard from smack, and Christina too shrill, so it’s Brad for me.

Today also marks the start of long summer school holidays. To stave off boredom while watching my children trash the house, I imagine I am a lithe sprite running down a Caribbean beach chased by Brad Pitt. In the midst of my reverie, my youngest hits me in the face with a nude Ken doll. After I threaten to send Ken and his girlfriends to the local op shop she runs away to her giggling sister. Back on the couch it is no longer a daydream, it has become my reality. Brad Pitt is still chasing me, but Jen is chasing him as Angelina aims a shotgun at all of us. Brad wants me bad. He’s only human…


Wish list for Santa

I know it’s early but here is my most wanted present list:

1. Hydraulic crane bra to thrust boobies up and out. I want to be able to rest my chin on them when I’m tired.

2. New brain or Mensa member’s if secondhand.

3. Long, white porn star fingernails and a slave for chores so I won’t break nails.

4. Children who feed, clothe and bathe themselves, and walk to school safely.

5. New pelvic floor.

6. Home that cleans itself (with no mortgage)

7. Lifetime supply of Lindt chocolate balls

8. Annual foreign holidays with swarthy, sexy stranger

 

 

I must send a copy of my list to Santa.


Canberra Book launch for the Sound of Silence

If you are in Canberra this Saturday please come to the book launch for The Sound of Silence, a book filled with sad, beautiful and uplifting heartfelt stories.

 

The Sound of Silence

Journeys Through Miscarriage


The Sound of Silence Book

Miscarriage is not spoken about, parents often suffer in silence. Until I suffered two miscarriages I had no idea how many women I knew had endured the sadness of losing a baby as well. I wrote a story for this book which is available to buy now. If you have suffered or love someone who has suffered pregnancy loss this book may provide comfort.

Buy online at http://www.mostlyformothers.com/miscarriage.html or at your favourite bookstore.

Miscarriage stories

The Sound of Silence


The Sound of Silence

I have written a story called Sorrow Comes Unsent For, which is included in an anthology called The Sound of Silence – Journeys Through Miscarriage. When I was pregnant I looked forward and saw the new life that was coming. Then I miscarried and that life was gone, but there was no funeral or mourning period observed. I was angry at my body for failing me, sad when my due date arrived and I had nothing to show for it. I wanted to share the story of one of my miscarriages so that other women who have experienced the trauma realise they are not alone.

All the authors have poured their hearts out in the book, the stories are beautiful and moving. If you know someone who has lost a child through miscarriage this book may be a nice gift to show that you are thinking of them.

The Sound of Silence book is published on October 1.


Sisters

Today is my sister’s birthday. We are not related by blood, she is my soul sister, one of the gals who keeps me sane when life seems too much to bear. She is a very private person, very discreet, so I can tell her all my secrets. We have been friends for 30 years, so I know when we are 93 and have blue hair and no teeth, we will still be giggling at our own shortcomings. Love may be blind, but friendship is clairvoyant. Happy birthday mate.


Single mother club

I am a member of an association I didn’t want to join. A card carrying crazy haired mummy in tracksuit pants, wearing bare feet, I am doing single motherhood the feral way. According to studies, single motherhood is not a pathway to physical nor mental wellness, more like emotional chaos.

My family was way ahead of the trend when it comes to single mothering. My paternal grandmother and my maternal great grandmother were both single mothers way before it became fashionable. When I am exhausted I think of my dad’s mother raising two children on her own in the 1930s and 40s, a time when single parenting was not chic. She couldn’t open a bank account nor get a loan because she had no husband.

My mission is to share the joys of single parenting. I don’t mind being single, it’s the single parenting I struggle with. My friends tell me I should be looking for the next man I’m going to break up with, but right now I think it is

Better to be alone than in bad company

I don’t want to be a single mum cougar, ogling young men on a Saturday night. Young men who are emotionally living on another planet. And their taste in music is appalling. I don’t want a grandpa either, I’m not that desperate.

But I’m sure I’m not the only single smother who behaves like a debauched old tart when the children stay at their father’s girlfiend’s place.

I don’t like to bash men on my blog, just tenderise them…


Spring has sprung something stupid

Today is the first day of spring down under. My garden is yawning and waking up. The gardenias will be in bloom soon, filling my house with their divine aroma. Spring is the time to breed like rabbits, spring clean and turn over a new leaf. The days will get longer and warmer and mating season begins. But we must hurry, there are only 115 shoplifting days until Christmas.